Active Participation Using Your Inner Voice: Podcast 008

Carolyn and I talk about active participation in treatment, palliative care, end-of-life, hospice  and your inner voice, you know that loop we all having playing in our heads most of the time. That voice will help you achieve your goals, learn, open new doors, and perhaps not withdraw when it’s most important to participate in life.

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Carolyn talks about it from her professional perspective and how to help patients and family members access it. I talk about my experiences with finding it, listening, and what it means at end-of-life. We argue.

Meet Mark: Podcast 007

Carolyn interviews me. She was able to elicit much and bring back the emotional memories of Donna’s caregiving and death. As painful as it was it’s a window into why I am doing this and what I’ve learned. You’ll love the part about whole brain radiation evidence vs. quality of life.

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Hospice Saved My Life

http://bioc.net/blog/2012/6/10/grief-and-depression-how-hospice-saved-my-life.html

Shared Decision Making
http://bioc.net/blog/2013/2/22/shared-decision-making-social-media-adult-learning-palliativ.html

End-of-Life Care
http://bioc.net/blog/2013/1/15/better-care-at-the-end-of-life-what-can-we-do.html

Moving From Patient To Person In Hospice: Podcast 006

Carolyn and I talk about how hospice patients and caregivers need to move from thinking like a patient which is what happens when we are being actively treated. In hospice it is about leaving the patient behind. Adapting and recalibrating your goals for the time remaining. It is smart discussion from Carolyn. Food for thought.

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Hospice Foundation of America
http://www.hospicefoundation.org/whatishospice

American Cancer Society
http://www.cancer.org/treatment/findingandpayingfortreatment/choosingyourtreatmentteam/hospicecare/hospice-care-toc

Advance Directive: Podcast 005

Carolyn and I talk about navigating an advance directive and our experiences completing them. A basic review and insight into the specifics of doing this important document and what it means for you and your loved ones.

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http://www.caringinfo.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3453

https://www.everplans.com/tools-and-resources/checklist-creating-an-advance-health-care-directive

http://resources.lawinfo.com/estate-planning/maryland/what-is-the-difference-between-a-living-will.html

Meet Carolyn The Hospice Social Worker: Podcast 004

We thought it would be important for you to know a bit about each of us so we can frame and position who we are in reference to these podcasts and topics. Today I interview Carolyn and learn why she went from film, to social work, to hospice and what she wants to accomplish discussing end-of-life both professionally and as a podcaster.

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Independence and End-of-Life: Podcast 003

We all live independent lives making decisions and navigating the world we live in. During EOL either as a patient or caregiver we surrender control. It does not have to happen that way.

If you have a comment or questions please share it so we can ensure this series meets your goals.

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Helpful Links

Everplans A terrific site for planning your life for those you love

How Doctors Die

TED Talk: Preparing for a good end of life

Introduction: Podcast 001

This podcast is my introduction to the series. We’ll present what we want to accomplish and why we feel our stories can advance end-of-life decisions. (This is the first one and production value is so so. I promise they getintroart1 better.)

If you have a comment or questions please share it so we can ensure this series meets your goals

Helpful Links

Hospice Saved My Life

CancerCare: An important organization for patients, family, and friends.

The Barbs and Cortege of Memories

 

Red scarf reading the menu

February 14th 2016 is Valentines Day for all of us. For Donna it would have been her 64th trip around the Sun. This annual sojourn of circling the Sun ended in 2011. Yet her ashes and memories continue to race through my personal solar system. “All we are is what we leave behind.” I am left behind, your memory is not.

The memories (not just memory) of Donna, our time together, what we had, and what we didn’t have arebits of flesh and fur snagged on barbed wire. At other times these memories are the interstitial pastures between the fences containing peace and comfort.

I smile remembering our Honeymoon in Greece. A warm Mediterranean afternoon napping in a cheap room on a beach listening to the buzz of Vespa’s outside, except there was no doppler effect. With a start we realized no Vespa. It was a huge bee in the room racing around. Simultaneously we made the same shocked oh my face, latter named Bee Face. It was similar to Edvard Munch painting The Scream.

The Scream or Bee Face
The Scream by Edvard Munch

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bit of skin hanging on the barbed wire is knowing that is forever gone and never to be repeated. The pastoral moment is knowing it happened and smiling.

Lobsters, oh how you loved to have a lobster while we vacationed or for your birthday at the Palm. I would crack the claws for you. The smile and the yum on face was pure joy to see and hold in my memories.

When in Maine Eat Lobsters
Donna loved her lobster dinners

Did I offer you enough lobsters during your 59 trips around the Sun?

 

 

 

 

 

Naming pets was your speciality. The key in your mind was looking at the face and naming the pet accordingly. Nina was the perfect name for this face. I wonder if we had children how long you would wait to name them because all newborns are ugly.

Nina One Year Old
She was on our Christmas Card her first year with us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]

BY E. E. CUMMINGS

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

7Cups is Less About Shiny Tech. It’s More About Solving Human Needs.

 

Last night, late for an old guy, I listened to an online video/Twitter chat hosted by #spsm (Suicide Prevention Social Media). The kind @docforeman invites me to these which flatters me to no end considering my mollusk like IQ. The topic was a new platform offering ‘anonymous and confidential online text chat with trained listeners, online therapists and counselors’. It’s called 7cups. @GlenMoriarty1 the founder of 7cups was the presenter.

The #spsm weekly chats are smart and address important topics outside my professional wheelhouse but I join and find them interesting and thoughtful. They are tres funny too if that counts. Last night with Glen Moriarty of 7cups was pure genius and riveting. So much so I had to get my ass out of bed and plug the laptop into the 27” screen so I could watch the chat, the video, and use Safari.

Everyone on the chat are Ph.D, MD’s or social workers who are passionate about #spsm and helping others. And they are a critical bunch questioning how the mental healthcare system works. They know the emperor some days is naked. First go to the 7cups site and check it out. I won’t get into my TL:DR mode. You back?

The chat and what 7cups is doing is brilliant on a human level and that is my point here. The talk last night focused on the technology and how amazingly this was funded and now has 800k people a month participating. Totally amazing platform story. There is more. This platform meets a basic human need we all try and find via social media. Humans need to talk to share to help especially when we are struggling. Just go back and read my posts on grief and loss and mourning. Not many read themor listen which I do to help others and to plumb the depths of my grief. All six of you who read my blog 20% got something from them. In a very small way I met the above conditions of human need via social media. 7cups is this on steroids and it is not the technology in my mind driving it. Reverse that, lede with the human need to help, talk, share, and listen 7cups has greased that need like a strippers pole to make it work better through technology. And I will add that Dr. Google, social media, etc. patient engagement is a robust extension of our lives. Here is short piece on that.

I’ve written and hocked about adult learning being at the core of both business and human needs. Bioc.net “Learning is the process of reflecting on experiences that produces insights useful in solving future problems (Slotnick, 1999)” And I will add, solving current problems.

Adults learn when they seek solutions to problems. New information discovered during problem solving creates experiences that upon reflection fosters new knowledge for that adult. That knowledge is incorporated in their consciousness. Learning changes consciousness. The most powerful effect we can have on patients (and each other) is to aid in learning.

Learning opens our minds to accept new information. When we incorporate new information through reflection we expand our compendium of knowledge. Our consciousness changes with new knowledge/experience and we apply it to create new experiences, change behavior, or make decisions. This is a problem-centric solution. It’s the bedrock of communications and marketing.

This effect is greater in a social situation. When we learn with someone else or in a group we learn better. Each learner comes to the same problem with different solutions and understanding. Each learner adds something to the solution of the problem at hand for other learners. Social media is a learning. It is a tactic NOT a strategy. The strategy is about identifying problems and helping adults solve them make them learners. Social media is a tactic to drive learning and knowledge not create it.

Lev Vygotsky identified “zone of proximal development.”  If a person is engaged in self-directed learning, they’ll get a certain amount out of what they do.  If, however, they learn with another person of the same level of sophistication, they’ll learn more.  Hank Slotnick, Ph.D. says, “the pooled ignorance is less than the sum of the individual ignorance’s.”

Most decisions we make as adults especially in healthcare revolve around solving problems for a family member or ourselves. Buying decisions and products we use or want to learn more about are based on our need to learn. Adult learning is a way to improve those decisions. And it is powerful in helping each other if we identify the problems others need to solve. AND a place to do it (i.e. 7cups)

And as I noted, 7cups is doing the above in spades. I immediately jumped on the idea of this as a place for those of us who recently lost a loved one to go and find a place to share your grief or help others share there grief to in fact achieve a zone of proximal development. Yes there are platforms like Widowed Village where you can chat and meet others in the same place. I have been there and used it but it never really grabbed me or me them it was more like joining a party already in progress. 7cups strikes me as a place/platform where you step into your own personalize party ether to help or find help which is key to us bipeds we love interaction.

Already TL:DR. Peace Out