I found the Mail to Self app a year and a half ago. It is genius in its simplicity and productivity. At the same time maniacal in the burden of its output. Where I mail a ton of articles to read later, which pile up. Here is the recent few to share in my personal News Feed.
From The Guardian with a single clear message for all who grieve.
“Try not to hide your grief,” you said. “If you talk about it, you will discover so many other women who have been through what you have been through and talking about it honours the sadness and helps everyone.”
I couldn’t agree more, honor the sadness and find a way to help others.
Grief Has Many Steps
Part One discusses the stages of grief less from the Kubler Ross Five Stages and more from the idea grief is not on a schedule and it is unique to all of us.
“They state that normal grief usually only lasts six months or less. A prolonged grief reaction lasts longer than six months and includes intrusive thoughts related to the loss of the person, intense feeling of emotional pain, or yearning for the lost person.”
Part Two takes a look at who is at risk for having a difficult time with the loss of a loved one.
“If a person was highly dependent on the relationship with the person who is gone, dealing with the loss will often be much harder. Those who have poor social support or history of abuse or neglect themselves will often have prolonged or abnormal grief reactions. And one of the most difficult losses to deal with is the loss of a child.”
“All sorrows can be borne if you put them in a story or tell a story about them,” said the writer Isak Dinesen.
An interview with Rachel Ward a podcast producer with Gimlet. Her husband died unexpectedly at age 35. Rachel was 32.
Sudden death vs. a prolonged terminal diagnosis is different but the grief feels the same.
“Um. I actually feel moderately okay in my grief. Like I feel like I understand like some of the dynamics of like when in the year I’m going to feel a little less capable or more capable. Among people that I already know I feel pretty comfortable bringing him into a conversation and being like, “Ah, Steve used to say this really funny thing.” So in relation to my own grief like I think I’m going to give myself a 6 out of 10. The thing I worry about is being like stuck a little bit.”