My View and Experience in Caregiving for the Dying

This was originally posted on a discussion group Coping – Caregiving as life passes me by at Virtual Hospice Ca. It is my view of caring giving as I lived it. 

Pudding, Missy 2012 and everyone: I relate very strongly to this discussion the comments as well as the emotions. My wife died 08/07/2011 after two years in treatment and ultimately three weeks in hospice. 

Being a caregiver is hard physically and emotionally but it was a job I closed my business to apply for. How did my counselor at CancerCare.org put it, Donna put her disease in my hands, she gave it to me to manage and guide her. And this was the strongest most independent woman I have ever met. I was honored to be there for her and to have the chance to move our relations to new deminisions and places. But the truth be told toward the end I would come home from my part time job and just sit on the stoop afraid to go up and see the disease see the pain. But I did it knowing it was my job my love my goal my place in our lives. Today I still miss her so much especially since her birthday is Thursday Feb 14. But I know she had me and that what I did was love at its purest. 

One final thought on hospice. It was not for her alone it was for me. It gave me the chance to surrender the caregiver burden and bask in the final time together. And also it was the place for me to gain comfort and care from an iamazing staff who saw me as a patient as well. At the same time I could apply my knowledge of medicine and healthcare to ensuring she had the care she needed. 

In the end caregiving is a rip tide of emotions that will drag you out to sea but it is a place to plant a flag and take a stand in the name of love. Hospice is that as well.

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